i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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