We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
