so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
