remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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