Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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