I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When did angry sex become our thing?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
