I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so let's talk penis.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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