ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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