I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Houston, we have a squirter
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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