My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
