Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
