I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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