a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
