Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
