OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
