So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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