Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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