and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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