he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
