I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
