Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's just like the Real World with babies
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
