she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
