I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
