I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
