I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
