The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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