Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
