I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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