I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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