How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Randomize
