Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
