He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
