marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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