Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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