I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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