Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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