I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
