She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
