I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
