I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize