i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
