is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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