yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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