I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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