let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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