The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
