Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
