I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
