I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
