She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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