i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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