My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
