redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
