Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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