We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
