May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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