fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
