i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
