I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
