I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
