I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
