Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
