She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
