I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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