Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
