you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize