the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
