PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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